Don't Be Disappointed If Your Baby Shows Affection Towards Your Wife More

Photo by Akshar Dave on Unsplash
Affection and emotions are things that most people take for granted on a daily basis but having a baby will definitely make you see how important they are to human relationships. The first six months or so will be grueling to parents as babies won't have the motor skills to really show their love towards their parents. Be prepared for stoic looks and big smiles that are more related to bowel movements than genuine affection.

But things can be a lot worse for dads. From my own experience, our baby tends to favor my wife (or at least it may seem to be) a whole lot more. At first, it definitely bothered me a lot but I soon realized it's probably me being insecure and not understanding the whole situation. So relax daddies, learn to accept that babies don't hate us but it's because they need our wives more in this time of their lives.

In fact, my advise will sound familiar to those who had Philo classes back in college - unrequited love and being persistent on it. Even though your baby is unable to show his/her true feelings towards you, be sure to spend a lot of effort to invest in it on your end. Soon enough, your baby will show appreciation and those months spent on persisting will pay off handsomely. Here are my top ways I show my affection as a dad:

1. Volunteer to feed your baby
After two months or so, babies won't need to exclusively breastfeed from their moms and you can start using baby bottles meaning you can feed babies without the need for their mother's presence all the time. This is probably the best activity for dads to bond with their baby as it's not only a crucial part of your baby's day-to-day activities but it's also one that he/she will be less cranky.  

2. Volunteer to lull your baby to sleep 
Your mileage may vary here. For me, our baby tends to favor my wife heavily and I'm unable to make him sleep hard as I try. Even with these struggles, I still try from time to time at least once during the evening. After six months, it's still mostly the same situation but I do succeed more often nowadays and believe me, nothing beats the happiness I feel when I do, it's like winning in life every single time. One hack we found that worked well for a time was to wear your wife's clothes while doing this. 

3. Change your baby's clothes and diapers
Notice a trend here? Bonding and showing love is more than play time. To really get your baby's attention, you need to show how integral you are to his/her life and this includes doing some "dirty" work. So don't be afraid to change diapers, wipe clean their bodies, and change their soiled clothes.